We ve got a really hot show for you today. We re going to talk about maintaining romance in your rel

We ve got a really hot show for you today. We re going to talk about maintaining romance in your relationship after 60. You say, how can romance over 60 be really hot? Well our guest, Dr. Rita Benasutti, a marital and sex therapist in Boca Raton, Florida, has appeared on TV and radio, been published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy , and has been quoted in Cosmopolitan Magazine , The New York Times , and Women's Health Magazine among others. Dr. Benasutti enterprise leasing auto rental has some definite ideas about what you can do to keep the fire of love burning in the Third Age. How is Third Age romance different from romance earlier in life? Let s say a husband and wife are both 70 years old. She s through with sex, he s not. He s ready to leave. What can they do? Or, a couple is 60. They both still work so their time and energy enterprise leasing auto rental for sexuality enterprise leasing auto rental is limited. How can they save their romance? Dr. Benasutti takes us through her 8 Levels of Intimacy enterprise leasing auto rental Affection, Social Togetherness, Physical Activity, Aesthetics, Intellectuality, Emotionality, Sexuality and Spirituality. She describes how feelings of hurt, misunderstanding and love and be resolved through intimacy. Listen to this show and learn the secrets of pillow talk and enduring romance.
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enterprise leasing auto rental David Debin: Hello and welcome to The Third Age with the doctor and the man from Hollywood. I m David Debin, the man from Hollywood! And on this show we turn the myths of aging upside down, I hope! That s what we ve been trying enterprise leasing auto rental to do, turning enterprise leasing auto rental myths of aging upside down. We sort out the scientific and the trendy, the medical and the cultural and we ll tell you everything you need to know about living in the third age, with panache and a nice little pinch of khutzpa. It s a word Peter can say.
David Debin: Remember we guarantee if you listen to us, you will never, ever grow old. The third age usually starts somewhere around 45 or 50. As you well know by now, it s a time when you start to feel a strong desire for a deeper meaning and fulfillment in your life.
Your first age is childhood, your second age is building your career and raising your family. And the third age is a major change or transition to a whole new set of problems: values, opportunities and gratifications.
David Debin: Unfortunately for us, the doctor, Peter Brill, MD is on vacation but not to worry. I have prevailed upon our good friend, the esteemed Bernie Sandler to co-host today s show with me and with Marissa and with Geren Piltz. If it weren t for Bernie, there would be no Third Age show and you ll find out what I mean by that as we go along but first, Hi Bernie Sandler! Welcome to The Third Age.
Bernie Sandler: I almost couldn enterprise leasing auto rental t show up today--almost all the time--I couldn t show up to day almost because I was so busy in the fourth age. But I m happy to be here today with you. It s always fun to hang out with you guys.
David Debin: It s great to have you here, Bernie, because you ve helped us along so many times on the phone and with our show. I just want to tell everybody out there about today s show. We ve got a hot show for you today. We re going to talk about romance after 60.You say, How can romance over 60 be hot? Well our guest, Dr. Rita Benasutti, a marital and sex therapist in Boca Raton, Florida--I guess that s a good place to be a sex therapist, right? Wouldn t you think?
David Debin: OK well we ll see what she thinks about that. She s got some definite enterprise leasing auto rental ideas about what you can do to keep the fire of love burning in the third age. It should be an exciting show, exciting being the key word there.
David Debin: And our guest today is Dr. Rita Benasutti. She is a marital and sex therapist and private practiced in Boca Raton, Florida. Those of you listening on podcasting and also live, if you re in Florida, if you re in Boca Raton, you can look her up and call her. Her website is www.drrita.net. She s appeared on TV and radio, she s been published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy. And she has been quoted in Cosmopolitan magazine, in the New York Times, I believe and in Women s Health Magazine, among others.
David Debin: So as you can tell, we re here to find out about third age and find out how to deal with it. And we re also here to have a good time and entertain each other and our audience. How does that work for you?
David Debin: OK, did you ever have anybody--no names mentioned--that got really jealous--somebody who was in their seventies and got really jealous and upset? Did it ruin his life or was he or she able to get over it?
Rita Benasutti: He or she was able to get over it but it was the recognition of what that was. Usually it s something missing in their own lives, some level of a low self-esteem, lack of confidence. Usually, it s something about themselves and not their partner.
Rita Benasutti: That s possible and I think too that jealousy is that people sometimes get jealous older when they haven t lived their dream because it s something enterprise leasing auto rental they wanted to do that was thwarted that they didn t get to do and the feeling that maybe it will never happen for them. So that s why I like the focus of your show because it can happen at any age--living your dream.
Bernie Sandler: Is it possible, though, that the intent or the interest in sex in later life, isn t equal which would lead to maybe making one person feel rejected and therefore suspicious of jealous enterprise leasing auto rental issues because when you re 20, you re rabbits. But when your 70 or 80 or 60, it becomes a supreme effort, a trip to Viagra enterprise leasing auto rental at the drug store.
Bernie Sandler: You re turtles, right. You re barely rubbing shells but I wonder if that happens because it seems to me that it s not likely that all partners would stay at the same intensity of sexual interest as they get older. How do you deal with that kind of thing?
David Debin: Well you re right about that because not all partners feel the same way at the same time. I m thinking of a case I have right now. They re both 70 but he still has a very much avid interest in sex and wants to have sex and she was through with it 20 years ago. And he was ready to leave the marriage, leave the relationship. I encouraged him to bring her in to talk and now he s saying he should have done this 40 years ago because he now has an active sex life
Rita Benasutti: At 70 Yes with her and she s cooperating and understanding that she s getting other things. This is a need he has. He s more active and just genetically, he s just put together in a way that this is important to him.
David Debin: that feels finished with sex, in a sense. enterprise leasing auto rental What was it? He just explained that he wanted more sex in their sessions with you? How do you change the woman, in this case, the woman s point of view?
Rita Benasutti: Well yes and then I have some cases it could be it s not gender specific. Some women say the same thing about men. I have couples in their fifties, forties, talking about the same thing. So it s not always just a certain age.
I think it started in this case where he started talking about what was important to him, his needs. She got to understand it on a more intellectual level because when they talked at home, it got emotional and heated and me being there as a third party, I would be able to translate and explain enterprise leasing auto rental from another gender what that possibly could mean. She got the sense that she might have a happier man in the house and she may get to have more of the things that she wanted to do in life and it was a mutual exchange.
David Debin: You said a magic word, there that I believe that a marriage therapist enterprise leasing auto rental or counselor is and--you used the word translate. Because at that point when we re coming to a therapist to help a couple, enterprise leasing auto rental you need a way to understand each other because it s gotten so convoluted, you can t and the translation is so important, isn t it?
Rita Benasutti: Yes, I think the translation is very important because of what you said. It gets convoluted and the hurts just show up and it s hard to talk and they usually get to a certain enterprise leasing auto rental point and it stops. And then the translation might be from male to female, female to male found from different perspectives.
David Debin: You know, if you have a couple enterprise leasing auto rental that comes to you--like this hypothetical couple who you just discussed--and she is finished with sex and he wants more sex in their life, could they have done as well going to a male counselor? Or was it more easy for her to accept that you were a female counselor.
Rita Benasutti: Lots of people ask me that question. I ve never had any trouble with being female. Most of the time, I think that both men and women tend to ask for female therapists but then I guess if you talk to a male therapist, there are people talking to them so they ask for them. It may have been better, me translating, because enterprise leasing auto rental I was a female, but even if it s a female with the problem and a man not as interested, I haven t seemed to have that because of what I was just saying.
Carl Jung had done a lot of work with that where we have both the male and female side. I think if one is comfortable with both their masculine and feminine energies, then it is easy to talk to anyone as long as there was a balance in that person and an understanding enterprise leasing auto rental of both perspectives and a way to communicate back that you heard the person and validated what they were saying, not necessarily agreeing with it, but the recognition that they were at least heard.
Bernie enterprise leasing auto rental Sandler: This leads me to a question I have that it could seem a bit flip or light but it s serious because a friend brought this up to me. In many relationships, as you know as a therapist, people use a thing called, pillow talk . While they re making love they talk about other situat